Our life is fully equipped with almost all of the resources we need to survive. When I say all – all I refer to is our basic needs and not our “wants”, for there is truly no end to our “wants”. Even after having all of these resources, at one stage or rather at every stage of life, from within, we feel a hollow, dissatisfaction, as if something is not correct, or as if this is not what we are really living for, and there is much more to this.
This mainly happens in the scenario where our expectations exceed our own potentials. Or perhaps we have the necessary potential yet our expectations needs time to get fulfilled, or majorly when we – in reality – aren’t able to realise the real purpose of our living.
The answer to these questions mainly lie in our own way of living which once altered would be a problem-solver to most of our queries and complaints from life.
Simply sitting and thinking over and over would not help. You need to act. Imagine you are standing at the starting line and not moving even an inch. You want to and you are capable of, but you aren’t. Rather you simply think and question, “Why am I not moving? What is stopping me? Why am I such a loser?” So in reality, you are doing nothing but standing there and just thinking. What’s the use of this introspection if you do not act at all! Winning is secondary but the primary task and rather a prime necessity is to act; to make a move; to initiate and take that first step ahead.
Now that you have moved ahead, you must learn to keep moving irrespective of your end result. Whether you win or lose, you must move. When you start acting in life with this perspective, you will develop patience and perseverance. In that case, even if you lose somewhere down the line, you have already cultivated the habit of moving ahead and not stopping or looking back. Thus, things might not work as per your expectations, but your attitude persuades you to keep moving and making one or the other efforts, and thus leaving no scope for a hollow within you.
Truth is difficult to achieve. Your present reality could be your truth but not someone else’s. So one that is not permanent or consistent, hardly can it be called the “real” truth, for truth is no slave of circumstances. Hence, one must not stick his mind on to one truth developing pre-conceived notion towards anyone or anything, and must keep looking for the real truth of this life and our living.
This search would never leave us dissatisfied, for this attitude to keep searching for truth will set us going ahead and ahead, always, thus preventing us from setting a boundary or limit for truth and eventually moving higher and higher in this endeavour.
Go about a bit easy on yourself. Of course, setting expectations for oneself always helps motivate one to keep walking towards his goal. But with that, one must even realise one’s own limitations and must realise where to Accept instead of Expecting. At some stage, we need to conform to the situation, and move on with a new zeal. When you are unable to do this, it becomes as if you have handcuffed yourself and now you are pretending as if you have lost the key and thus you yourself are unwilling to release off your professed pain. Thus, it is better to simply accept some situations the way they appear in front of you and later take steps towards moving ahead.
To forgive is to give and giving is beautiful. Many a time, we forget that we are humans and are bound to make mistakes. Our ego in form of our expectations prevents us from forgiving ourselves and moving ahead in life. So , it is ok to lose awhile, it is ok to not succeed awhile, it is ok to make mistakes awhile, for these mistakes bring out the best in us.
Just imagine a day where you asked for nothing, but engrossed yourself into the act of giving – giving peace to someone, giving food to someone, giving love to someone, forgiving someone, giving your most valuable smile to someone, giving away your ego for someone. Just imagine one such day. If you really try to, you will realise that mere imagining gives you so much bliss, then what would happen when you live each day simply giving and giving. When you make this a purpose of your life, your living shall change, for you’ll be living in the true sense of it. You will be living your own qualities; those real qualities that lie within you but you probably chose to keep them buried till date. This is your true self, your real truth and the day you start living in this manner, shall all your dissatisfaction and emptiness vanish. That day you will stop expecting anything from yourself, for you’ll be content within.
Whether you reach some great heights or you shatter down to ashes, without self-content one can never feel satisfied. Even the rich feel dissatisfaction. Why should he when he is loaded with all the resources required in order to lead a luxurious life? It is because of greed. There is no end to greed. The one who has nothing is as greedier as the one who has everything. Then where is the difference? Can mere material wealth and material factors or related worldly emotions and relations fill the emptiness in our lives?
They can only make the external conditions favourable enough to live, but not to sustain in the long run. Hence, self-content is the key. Being content and satisfied with what we have or what we do not have, and being mentally unaffected by our loss or our achievements is called self-content. And the one who has learnt to live that way is truly rich, is truly content, is truly satisfied and thus he is the one who is truly happy.
The crux of the discussion is that one can never be completely satisfied. The real satisfaction is in self and striving towards exploring it and understanding it and thus living it to the fullest for the betterment of that same self and even others.
It was just about a week back when I was going through the thoughts and ideas of people around the world, over a common platform on the web, when I came across this very beautiful text written down by one of my good acquaintances. This piece of content was in fact, not just a small, beautiful and a heart-touching conversation but also a true message of life, worth to be endured by each and every one of us.
This was a conversation between a mother Arti and her beloved daughter Nandita. Nandita, a 6 yr old child, likes a boy in her school. Let’s call him Ahmed. So one day after school, Nandita and Arti were having a routine talk wherein Nandita was narrating her school stories and chores. Arti was merely observing her sweet little kid as she was narrating everything with her graceful facial expressions and gestures. Amidst her talks, this is what occurred:
“Nandita, I love you,” said Arti. Nandita smiled cheerfully and continued with her talks. After about a minute, Arti once again: “Nandita, I love you!” Nandita smiled back in the same manner and went on. Few seconds post, Arti yet again with helplessness and a desire to stay with Nandita always: “Nandita, I love you! What should I do?” Nandita replied, “Mommy, don’t do anything! Just keep loving me like I love Ahmed.”Arti was stumped right away.
She was amazed at a 6 year old’s thoughts about love; that love is simply about loving and nothing else. What a beautiful thought it is, isn’t it? Many a time our kids unknowingly teach us some very beautiful morals of life, which if embraced, not only can give our lives a new course but also make it less complicated and thus simple.
In this material world, majority of the people might be of the opinion that love is painful. Then why is this thought contrary to what Nandita shared with us all? It is because when we say love is painful, we attach ourselves with the one we love or wish to be with. We seem to possess our love, and when in this journey of possessing we fail, we get disappointed and that eventually leads us to sadness and gloom. The feeling which we once felt was divine, now feels painful and pricking straight into our hearts.
On the other hand, Nandita’s love seems more pure, divine, compassionate and heart-touching. It truly explains us an old saying that love is about giving and not asking for anything in return. It is about giving love. It is about loving your love. It is about cherishing that beautiful feeling of love within our hearts and that in turn is accompanied with compassion for the other as well as our own self. Such love never gives pain but only helps heal it. Such love is innocent and selfless. Such love rises above material expectations and physical pleasures. They are truly fortunate, within who dwells such love.
That said, it is important to realise where has our theory of love gone wrong against Nandita’s version. In reality, what we call love is actually nothing more than a mere attachment; attachment to the one we love. This attachment does not come alone but brings along its friend called expectation that seizes our wisdom to realise true love, for true love isn’t a barter system where you expect something in return. And where there is expectation, there lies disappointment, anger, jealousy, gloom and sadness upon non-fulfillment of those expectations.
We thus find such a love painful because we develop a sense of possession towards the one we love without considering the fact that they too are independent individuals and if we love them that do not necessarily mean the vice-versa.
So it’s all in our minds in short. Just a small and simple alteration in our thought process makes our life less complex. In fact the one who holds true love for someone, instead of experiencing pain, must be thankful to the almighty for they are truly fortunate to hold so much love for someone; to be able to simply live these moments of loving someone irrespective of the person’s physical presence or absence.
This is a value of life that Nandita has taught each one of us. What we need is, to realise it and spread it to each and every individual related or unrelated to us. Thus, if instead of holding this love for one person, we extend it to every individual around us, if we simply start treating each individual as equal as our own self, and detach ourselves from the sense of possessing them, then the way we deal with issues in life will definitely change, the way we deal with problems in life will change, our relations with family and friends can then get only more and more sweeter and above all what will change is our idea of our own self. We shall eventually start to love our self and respect our being; we shall expect less from our self and believe in simply giving in our best for every task without expecting the results for the same; we shall free our own soul from the clutches of depression, anger, jealousy and all sorts of negative elements present, thus making life much simpler and peaceful for others as well as our own selves.
Many a time, almost each of us encounter a scenario amidst our daily acts and deeds, wherein we fall into the trap of anger, hatred and grudge for someone close or distant, and for reasons, rational or irrational. Inspired by one such incident, a thought strikes my mind. Is it really worth?
Is it truly worth holding a grudge against someone when we know that there are many more important tasks yet waiting to be accomplished compared to this. But then, does that mean one must completely ignore the other person’s wrong doings? The answer from within says a big “NO”. Upon drilling further down the thought process, it becomes apparent that the root flaw is in our own logic of hatred and anger.
We all must ask ourselves that what do we hate, the act of wrong doing, or the doer himself. I’m sure it’s the act, but in the process of losing our temper we fail to clearly observe the act and the doer as separate and eventually develop a false or rather a negative notion for that person.
With that the next question that appears is that what is the solution then? It is forgiveness, whispers the heart. It is that divine and complete forgiveness that detaches us from the clutches of hatred, and such forgiveness is devoid of any kind of self-pride that could arise from this benevolent act.
There could be many voices coming up against this thought of forgiveness and with ‘N’ number of arguments to support. But then immediately, the below lines appear as thoughts.
Forgive, because you are a human and so is he
Forgive, because you are a soul and so is he
Forgive, because you are beautiful and so is he
Forgive because you are kind and compassionate
With a heart full of love that resonate
Forgive because forgiveness is a gift
To someone needful as well as you
Forgive because you realise that
“Hate the sin and not the sinner”
Forgive because nothing is permanent
Neither this life, nor one’s sins
Forgive because life is a circle
As you sow, so shall you reap
Forgive because life is short
And grudge has no end
Forgive because you are strong
And forgiveness is the attribute of the stronger
Forgive because forgiveness is bliss
A bliss that lightens up your soul
Forgive because forgiveness is a jewel possessed by the kings
And each one of us is a king of our life
Forgive because it relieves someone of their guilt
And helps pave their way towards a new persona to be built
Forgive because it relieves you of your ego and pride
And helps pave your own way for a smoother ride
Forgive now, for when you forgive
You bow down to help someone rise up
Forgive because even the supreme forgives us for our wrongs
And continue to love us and guide us through our life songs
Forgive because forgiveness is giving
And giving selflessly is beautiful…..
A quite informative and significant article on this concept of forgiveness elaborated in the above lines is worth sharing. A short intro on the same as presented by this guide’s editor Mel is as below. You may follow the link ahead for the complete article.
Forgiveness – A Complex But Important Process
Forgiveness, we are told, is a virtue. More than that, as a thousand oft-shared motivational social media posts tell us, it’s something which is as good for us as it is for those who have wronged us. While these platitudes and pseudo-psychological sentiments are ostensibly right, however, they frequently fail to take into account the immense complexity of the forgiveness process. You cannot simply say ‘I forgive you’ and immediately obliterate both the wrong done to you and the emotional fallout from it. True forgiveness is a far longer and more psychologically involved process than that. Hurt, resentment, and a desire for revenge may still linger if the forgiveness is not truly meant. Indeed, in the long run it is probably better not to say ‘I forgive you’ if you do not truly feel it. Instead say ‘I will try to forgive you’, and then start a process by which you and the one who has wronged you work together to acknowledge, accept, and move past the hurt.
Not Easy, And Not Trivial
It’s too easy to assume that ‘forgiveness’ means an elimination of the past, that it’s a way of skating over problems and pretending that bad things have never happened. For this very reason, some people choose not to forgive. In fact, true forgiveness comes from acknowledging what has happened, emotionally processing it, and choosing to resume a loving relationship with the perpetrator nonetheless. Properly accepting and working through issues in order to achieve true forgiveness can actually strengthen and deepen a relationship. Brushing such issues off with a trite and unfelt three-word statement, on the other hand, often leaves such issues unresolved and likely to rear their ugly heads once again. Forgiveness is not a trivial matter to be taken lightly. It is a very important aspect of personal and relationship growth, which should be treated with the weight and respect it deserves.
Do It Properly
Forgiving someone can be a very long process. Nor is it easy – it can be tough to sort through all the hard emotions which arise when you are wronged by someone you love. However, it is worth doing, and worth doing properly. Ultimately, both parties will get a lot out of proper, true forgiveness. Don’t expect it to happen fast, and don’t expect it to be simple, but do your best! For more on this, see this article.
Many times, it is people’s lack of confidence in their own self that makes them behave like this. As you said, he likes to be the nice and funny guy and pretends to be something else in front of people when he’s actually not that.
He should be doing so out of his insecurities and inferiority complex. In this process, he constantly tries to intimidate you on a personal level and more in front of others. Because of their own securities, such people naturally boast about themselves by proving someone else inferior; the one whom they consider weaker than them.
In your case, it’s pretty evident that somewhere your husband considers you weaker in much sense and hence intimidating you give him a sense of superiority and false achievement for himself. He might be doing it intentionally or intentionally but his own self-complex does play an important role in this.
The best way to deal with such a situation is to prove him that his misconception of you being a weaker half is false; that it really doesn’t matter to you what he feels and thinks about you.
Approach him. In a calm and polite manner, have a talk with him. Tell him what you feel right and wrong; that what he’s doing is only affecting him and no one else. In no way, it is making any difference to you. Let him know that you really don’t care what he thinks about you and that you are much stronger than what he thinks of you. Tell him that it’s his image that is getting spoilt in front of outsiders; that how he treats and makes a mockery of his wife and doesn’t respect her.
Having said all this to him, the ball is now in your court. What you said needs to reflect in your actions. Do not pay heed to whatever he talks about you in front of his friends. Show him that you really don’t care about whatever wrong he speaks about you. The more you pay heed, the more will he be encouraged to do so. The moment you stop giving him importance, he’ll realise that his efforts are in vain and he needs to give a thought to his actions. You might have to be a bit stubborn too at times, but along with that show you concern for him wherever possible.
This will make him feel guilty of his actions. He’ll realise that you can love and even stand for what is wrong. Where and how you should respond would depend a lot upon the time and the situation. When he starts to realise his mistake, help him gain his self-confidence back. That is the second step.
All this needs time friend. Perseverance and patience is the key. Remember this. Stay strong and don’t give up. Things can work out only if we wish to make them work and that too with a true will, love and compassion.
Your husband needs you. Help him. Do write back on his progress or any inputs if you feel so.
All the best!
We all must ask these questions to ourselves. Recently I’ve encountered these questions at a number of online portals. People were found quite inquisitive to understand this aspect of life. A number of them realised that they have achieved everything in life, yet they are not happy or satisfied.
Consider this very common scenario, where a person travelling in a 4-wheeler, after seeing another 4-wheeler of a renowned brand expresses his desire to buy that car. Presently they do own one or even two, but after seeing another better one, out of desire they wish to buy that one. In fact, once I even received a question from a lady who asked whether it is wrong to achieve good or to neglect that what is good and whether it is wrong to neglect material totally.
Amidst all these mind boggling questions, we must realise one very basic thing.
What do you really need and what do you want or rather desire?
There’s a very thin line of difference between the two. We all have learnt that food, clothing, and shelter are the basic necessities of life. So we must strive constantly to achieve them. We have certain responsibilities in life towards our close ones and hence we must make every possible effort to provide them that basic need and the basic resources for a convenient lifestyle. So this is what need is, in true sense.
Using the available resources in order to achieve more than what we require is our desire and wants.
It isn’t wrong to desire to achieve more. But the problem arises when these desires turn into greed; greed to achieve more and more to satisfy our ego and false pride. To manipulate with government taxes, to indulge into fraudulent activities, bringing harm to someone for our selfish motives and materialistic wealth, or any such action that causes the slightest loss to the rich or the poor is out of our greed. This is our inner enemy whom we many a time fail to recognize. Like a parasite it spreads into our brain and we surrender to it completely, knowingly or unknowingly.
Coming back to the above example of a person wanting to buy a new car! There’s nothing wrong in it. It is completely fine to think about the convenience of our close ones as well as our own. But the main problem is that somewhere at the back of our mind, we are unnecessarily giving heed to and increasing our needs in life, our desires, to be precise.
The greater our desires, the greater is the fear of not achieving them or if achieved, then the fear of losing them. Thus, greater would be the insecurities and unhappiness in life. What’s the use of such luxuries when they can’t give you satisfaction and permanent happiness, for, at the end of the story, we are all striving to stay happy? Even if we are earning money, the root motive is to stay happy.
Truly speaking there is no limit to these desires which slowly and silently turn into greed. When one desire is fulfilled, we start struggling for something more. After that, again something more and in this manner, we keep running behind these desires that would supposedly make us “happy”. The fewer the desires, the greater is the internal peace. This is something that each of us must give a thought to.
Haven’t we moulded our lifestyle in a manner where we fail to compromise with something lesser or below our expectations? Let’s take up a small example from our day to day life itself. Every parent wishes to give all the luxuries to his child and there’s nothing wrong in it. We would want our children to travel from one place to another conveniently in a car or a cab. No one likes unnecessary hardships and we would hence prefer the same for our children. But in providing them all the luxuries of the world and fulfilling each and every wish of theirs, we forget that somewhere we are shaping their lifestyle such that tomorrow if a difficult situation arises, they might find it difficult to incorporate it in their life and adapt to it. They could find it difficult to travel in local transports like buses and train. In buying things, they might start differentiating the daily needs like clothing and accessories based on their price value and not the real need or the applicability of that stuff in their lives.
I do not say that we must avoid buying good stuff and we must give up everything in life. That notion is wrong. What is needed is a balance; a balance between desires and needs. We must take care that we are not spoiling one’s habit in the name of “providing convenience to them.”
Whether rich or poor, one must realise the true value of the available resources, instead of getting overwhelmed by the self desires and misusing the resources in order to satisfy one’s unnecessary wants.
Of course, no one can questions one’s spending or define one’s utilisation as necessary or unnecessary. It’s their personal possession and they do have the right to use it in the way they find it befitting.
But it’s a matter of one’s own understanding and realisation of right and wrong for his own betterment and upliftment of his own personality. No third person would benefit from this.
What’s advisable is that we must practice and teach the quality of self-content. To stay content with and be at peace with what we have and even what we do not have. One who is content is the happiest.
I understand that there would be a number of doubts arising in the minds of many readers here. Many might not completely correlate with what I’m trying to say. But then, do add your views here. Whether right or wrong, it would definitely add to our perspective.
I’d end it here with this beautiful quote by the Mahatma
The Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.
I am feeling demotivated. I’ll do that task later. I do not wish to do it anyway. What will I achieve by doing this task? How will it help me? All of these and many more reasoning and such sense of demotivation clouds our minds whenever we have certain tasks ahead of us or we have a responsibility or a duty to be performed.
We are humans and all of us need a motivation to do something in life. Imagine you are sitting idle and all of a sudden you experience tremors around you. You realise that it’s the earthquake and you immediately run helter-skelter to save your relatives’ as well as your own life. So what’s the motivation that made you get back on your feet? It was the urge to save your life; to save yourself from death.
Likewise, for every task we need some or the other motivation to progress. The greatest catalyst for our motivation is truth or reality and the will to embrace that truth. In fact, truth is a catalyst for our motivation as well as it itself is a motivator in many cases.
Truth, in each case would depend from context to context. For Gandhiji, his biggest motivation was his hunger for truth. Realizing truth was his priority. That truth not only triggered his spiritual aspect but also the social aspect of service to the mankind. That truth triggered his instinct and acted as a motivator to stand against the slavery and atrocities of the British.
For a middle class person, his motivation to work harder and harder is the truth that he needs to support his family and provide them with at least the basic necessities of life; that they should not struggle to achieve the basic needs of life like food, clothing, shelter and education. For a student, the motivation could be the reality that life outside is not as easy as it seems. To sustain there and survive is the biggest motivation a student can have. All those luxuries and convenience that he could be enjoying currently might not stay if he doesn’t make himself able enough to prove his worth.
So how can one stay motivated upon realizing the truth?
As we discussed earlier, realising your truth and accepting it is the biggest push towards motivating yourself. Would it motivate a farmer if he ignores the reality that his family could get deprived of the basic necessities if he doesn’t take adequate care of the crop? No! Isn’t it? So, realise your truth today and accept it to the core of your mind and heart. Unless you convince yourself of this truth, no one in this world can help you.
Once you’ve accepted your reality, define your goals. Note them down on a piece of paper. You may simply want to define the near-term goals. No issues with that. Take them one by one. Unless you know your goals, you would not be able to plan towards executing the same. So set your goals.
We humans tend to go lenient towards our duties and responsibilities many a time in life. So we always need someone or something to remind us of our truth and our goals. So make an effort to remind yourself of your own truth and goals. Write them on a piece of paper and keep it in your pocket throughout the day. It will constantly act as an alarm clock for your mind.
Avoid falling in the trap of monotony. Doing one activity for one cause may sometime make you feel bored. So try something that gives freshness to your mind; something that you like doing and which would bring about a change in your routine. Go out for a walk. Spend time with nature. Spend time playing music or listening to music or simply sitting with your family members and discussing random stuff, or the most effective, meditate.
Time and again, keep having a small talk with your own self. Ask yourself the right set of questions like:
Talking about your goals every now and then with your friends or close ones motivates you to keep walking. It is like a sense of energy or nutrition for your mind. It works instantly and takes you a long way ahead.
Many a time, the need for motivation arises out of procrastination. We tend to procrastinate upon our tasks and responsibilities assigned to us. We choose less urgent tasks over urgent ones and do more pleasurable activities before the ones which are the need for the hour. The above discussed points and ideas very well apply to the question of “how should one avoid procrastination? Or how should one deal with it?”
It is completely fine to feel demotivated and procrastinate. But what needs to be taken care of is to beware of such feeling to conquer your mind and control you. One needs to make every constant and conscious effort to overcome these emotions and keep moving towards the goal because life is about moving and it does not stop for anyone, not even you! So All the Best!
For a 21 year old, it is not an age to set goals, I feel. I mean I understand one would probably be a graduate at this stage. But then, this is an age to explore.
Let’s take it this way. A person who has been in such a caring environment for almost 21 years, who has been exposed to academic struggles only, who is hardly aware of how the real world runs and how difficult it is to sustain, who has only won games and competitions in schools and colleges where he is competing with a mere 100s whereas on the other hand, the outside world has millions of competitors striving. How can we expect such a person to come out in the real world and start setting goals for himself when he has hardly realized his passion yet?
Goal setting comes yet 3 to 4 years down the line from this age. At this age, the person simply needs to allow himself to accept what comes ahead of him.
It is something like diving in a fierce river. Initially, just go with the flow. Understand where the river takes you and how it takes you ahead. Once you have made yourself comfortable, then you start moving your hands and legs to decide the direction in which you’d like to swim.
So, at this age, move out into the world and allow it to heat you up like an iron, test you and prepare you for this world. How would that happen?
In the age of 21, where academic institutions set us free to enter this world, another school called life binds us in. School teaches us “what to do” in life whereas life teaches us “how to do” in life. This is an age to realize our true passions and understand how and where we see ourselves standing 10 years down the line. So:
Today, I came across this beautiful saying by the great Mahatma Gandhi. It truly touched me in every sense. A thought so pure and equally simple, coming up from a pure soul and a simple man like the Mahatma is strong enough to motivate any person on this earth even after so many years of his existence.
We must become the change we want to see in the world.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Gandhiji’s life is truly and completely capable of becoming an example for all of us. He himself lived an exemplary life only for the upliftment and welfare of the innocent and the destitute. His life serves as an ideal for a very important reason that he himself practised what he preached. He was very well aware of the simple fact of nature that when you preach, your own ideology and actions come under a scanner. Unless and until you yourself walk on a path, others would always hesitate in following you.
Hence, he did become the change that he wished to see in this world. He believed in non violence and selfless service to the mankind. He was always ready to sacrifice his own life than killing someone else. Such firm resolute, and strong morals and values indeed make him a perfect idol for the youth of today, exemplifying the perfect unity of thoughts, actions and words.
All of us living on this earth today hold an important responsibility with us. The struggle that Gandhiji led was a much grave one compared to what we as individuals and citizens of our respective countries need to deal with today. Yet we lack that belief and that will to be a part of the change that we wish to see. Issues like illiteracy, poverty, discrimination based on the colour, caste and creed, corruption and so on, needs urgent attention and each one of us are equally aware of the same. But what have we really done for it?
Let’s take an example as small as bribing an official to get our work done. This is something each one of us wants to get rid of. But when the situation arises, how many of us actually stay firm on the path of truth? We ourselves resort to such actions of bribery at that moment. We might complain that the system runs in this manner only and things won’t change by us alone. Agreed! But then does that really justify our action of bribing someone? Just because someone else is ready to accept it, I will also resort to the same does not give us a narrow escape. However small a change is, it is worth fighting for with all possible peaceful means.
We, as social beings, have certain responsibilities towards our family and friends. But to that, we need to add a small part called “humanity”. I do not say that we need to go and fight at the border for the protection of the nation or go out looking for criminals and scoundrels in the society. Rather, each one of us can do some very small things that instigate that change in the society.
A number of daily activities can be incorporated into our lives which can trigger the change in society.
Activities like cleaning up your own house daily and your society once in a while; maintaining cleanliness in and around the office premises, following traffic rules, avoiding bribery come what may, avoiding exploitation of the lower class, paying regular taxes honestly, sparing about 2 hours a week to teach the under privileged, and many more are some of the small initiatives that each one of us can make to contribute our part to the society and the mankind.
The logic is simple. Just think. Tomorrow you would want your child to become a highly moral person in his life. Of course, none of us would want to teach them the wrong values. But what would be his motivation to become a morally valued person in life? It has to be you, isn’t it? The same goes for the society. If you wish to see that change, start from your own house today itself.
You might see yourself as a single person. But for the whole humanity, each single person together makes a huge number. So your initiative could be a small one for you. But each one of yours including me would make a big difference to the society.
The initiatives that I mentioned above are quite small ones, but when each of us would realise taking that up, the results would be considerable enough. It’s just about that one thought; that one moment when we need to make a commitment to our self. It is then when we would be able to make sincere efforts in that direction.
Having done that, we can pass the same to our near and dear ones. For them, we would serve as an example of change. That would be a motivation for them to start in the same manner. They in turn would pass it on to their close ones and the chain would expand. All this is possible. What is required is that one thought right in this moment.
It’s a very small contribution. No need to go to the border or join the army if you do not wish to. No need to join politics if you hate it. Rather, start that change from you and let it flourish, as the ones who would be getting into the core of the system eventually, would be from amongst us, who would be holding these true values of selfless service to humanity, the one that the Mahatma passed on to us in the hope that we’d enrich it in the real sense.
I would leave the final decision upon each one of us with this short story.
So, there was a grandpa and a child walking on the beach. Grandpa decides to take some private moments with himself and leaves the kid at the shore. After sometime he gets back to check on his grandson. He gets shocked to see what the kid was doing.
The kid was picking up tiny fishes and hurling them towards the ocean. Tiny fishes fall onto the shore and die. This small kid was hurling them back towards the ocean, in an attempt to save their lives.
Baffled by the efforts of the kid, grandpa explains him, “Hey kid! You cannot save all of the fishes, they just keep falling out.”
Now, the kid looks at his grandpa, picks another fish, hurls it back to ocean and says, “But I did save this fish.” Grandpa eventually realised, that however small the effort is, it did make a difference somewhere and to someone.
I don’t know what to write and where to start from. Right now it’s raining heavily outside and I’m simply pondering over my past. Yes, rains have always been my good friend and they do make me go nostalgic. It takes me back to the past. It makes me think over my present that would eventually shape my future. One can say that it simply sets a mood for introspection.
This pondering takes me on a journey through all those rains that I’ve cherished in the past; each of them leaving an impression on my mind. I don’t know what the connection is! It’s not that events haven’t occurred to me otherwise. But the ones during rains always leave behind that mark at the back of my mind like the moist smell after the rains.
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky
This saying by Sir Rabindranath Tagore goes well for me. Those days of classroom during school as well as college and graduation ones, when it used to rain heavily and make the atmosphere drowsy, used to actually put my body to rest and mind working. Those times of my biggest crush during the college days, my interaction with my best friend regarding the dilemma of his relationship, those times of sitting home and watching TV when everything outside is shut down, that instant urge to get wet in rains all of a sudden during a walk with my best friend, those days when I was free enough to constantly be in a spiritual company which I desire even today. All these moments, yet today, comes ahead in front of the eyes like a flash and brings a smile on my face, and rains have always been a “cherry on the top” to these memories :-).
And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow
-Gilbert k. Chesterton
Few events feel childish or funny or immature even today. But then, I feel having experienced these days has probably made me and brought me where I am today. I feel everything happens for a reason. Every moment of our life plays some or the other role in shaping our ideologies, and our future and destiny eventually. Nothing goes waste. Every moment reaps its own fruits at the right time and the right place. Hence what is essential is to live every moment. Feel it. Experience it in totality. If it’s something wrong or immoral, realise it that moment itself, analyse it and forgive yourself. Unless you do that, you won’t be able to move on.
Simply go with the flow like the rains do. Only keep one thing in mind that every thought and every action must be for your inner development. It must not harm the quality of unconditional love that is within each of us. Like the rains, this love needs to be showered upon everyone around us equally. In fact, our actions should only nourish it and help it flourish. It could take time. It will take time. But patience is the key. In fact, if these actions cannot nurture that love, then they must not affect our morality and values at least.
These rains are probably the best times I always crave for, for these help me calm down my mind and makes me take a rest psychologically and puts me into a “thinking mode” about life in general; about what I need to achieve, what kind of person I need to become and in which direction I’m actually moving in correspondence to the kind of person I wish to become. It helps me slow down amidst the hassles of this life, introspect and make a diversion in the right direction.
Like me, all of you can look for that rain in your life. Everyone sees it differently. For me it’s the rains. For someone else, something else could work and prove effective. No
matter what it is, it should be a life changer for you. It should be a boon for you, a motivation for you and a catalyst in your life that would make the right chemical reaction in the exact needed amount.
Into each life, some rain must fall
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
In achieving any goal, distractions would always be there because our mind is so unstable that it keeps wandering around in the whole world and finds it difficult to constantly concentrate on one goal. Hence what is essential in staying strong is our focus. We need to stay focused on what we wish to achieve and there’s no looking back then.
Before going ahead, let’s make one thing clear. For some who might confuse the word “distractions”, with marriage and other such family chores, it’s necessary to understand that these are our responsibilities and not distractions. We’d be deceiving our own self if we think so. Whether we like it or not, we have to fulfil these, keeping in mind our goal that we have set for ourself. So, as I said, focus is important to avoid distraction, this focus requires discipline and regularity in working towards our goal. Such discipline can be achieved by following a step by step process, something like this:
In order to achieve anything, the most basic necessity is a strong will, a strong commitment made to your own self to reach there where you see yourself. It is this commitment that can serve as a motivation for us to soar heights.
Break down your path to success into a number of smaller paths. It is always easy to do that way. If we simply focus on targeting the larger ones, we might somewhere get exhausted and eventually give up in that process. Hence, achieving smaller targets helps us psychologically in terms of a feel good factor of having achieved these targets. These eventually becomes a motivation for us to carry out further tasks.
Jot down full retrospect of each milestone to avoid repeating the mistakes that you must have committed in the process of achieving earlier milestones. This analysis would even help you understand your strong points and the areas where you could have to put in more efforts ahead.
Do not get stuck up on your mistakes at any stage. Forgive yourself and move on. Do not get depressed and do not let your mistakes become a bottleneck for your progress. There’s always a better opportunity ahead. So learn from these mistakes and move on.
Do not hesitate to ask for help. It’s ok if you are unable to crack the problem. Everyone needs some or the other support. So stay open to suggestions and positive criticisms.
Stability and peace of mind is the most essential to accomplish any task in its totality. What’s the use of that success if it couldn’t help you stay at peace? An agitated mind is the most vulnerable one. Meditation calms down your mental state to help it stay strong and bear any force that could come ahead. It is out of personal experience and thus I’d like to emphasise more on this step. It is in fact a support system that’ll benefit you throughout your path to success and in any endeavour in life. So practise it regularly to see the results.
Thus as we see, an unplanned and unorganised approach to any goal is the most vulnerable to distractions that could put you off your track. Disciplined and regularity helps us stay focused at all times and act as a strong force standing against any kind of obstacle.