Hi, I completely understand your situation and what you are going through currently. I need to first of all bring forth the fact that negativity lies in our own brain. If we develop a negative thought or a negative attitude or a mindset in life, it is we alone who are to be blamed and no external factors can really influence our mindset. One might argue that external factors such as experiences of people around us and close to us are powerful enough to change our mindset, then in that case I would argue that it is good to learn from others’ experiences but how can we let their particular incident direct or control our way of thinking.
If one person is going through a negative phase in life or if one person has had certain bad experiences that does not really mean that we can generalise that happening for everyone. Every person is different and so are their experiences. So the first thing that you need to accept is that the negative thoughts that develop in your mind are your own and not influenced by someone else.
Once you realise this fact, all you need to do is make a decision for yourself on whether you want to give place to negative thoughts or positive thoughts in your mind. Remember one thing friend, you are independent. You are powerful enough to control your brain. You have the full potential to believe in something and bring it into realisation. Your negative thoughts cannot overcome you only if you allow them to. So be brave. Be strong. Make a decision for yourself today. Make a decision that you are strong and you can win over your negative thoughts and emotions. They might seem powerful but you are more powerful than them only if you believe that you are. It is as simple as that.
I understand it is not that simple to implement, but believe in the fact that you can and you will bring about a change in your own self. And yes, you have understood it correctly that negative thoughts can only weaken your brain power. Positive thoughts are motivating and refreshing. Due to negative thoughts, you start losing control over your own self and eventually that reflects in every day-to-day action and tasks that you perform. So now when you really know the consequences of these negative thoughts you must stand against them bravely and believe in your own self. Take a look at the below understandings and methods that will help you in the endeavour to gain better control over your own self.
To overcome negative thoughts, the most essential thing is to love your own self. When you fall in love with your own soul and personality, your attitude diverts towards the betterment of your own self. When you love someone, you would do anything to help that person in any scenario and help them improve upon their own personality. Same is the case when you love your own self. You then start making every effort to help your own personality develop in every aspect.
When you constantly hit upon a particular spot, you make a real impact. Star contemplating over positive ideas. Take one positive thought and constantly hit upon that; I mean contemplate over it. Let your own self drown in the pool of positive ideas. Keep reminding yourself that you are stronger than your negative thoughts. Make a mark on your hand or use some prop as a reminder which can constantly prick you to think positively.
Many times we get influenced by people with negative thoughts and we ourselves develop such attitude for our self. So if we are not able to prevent ourselves from getting influenced by others, why not let that influence develop from positive people. Allow their positive ideas and mindset to motivate you and help you towards something better.
Rather than thinking, “I want to avoid negativity and get rid of negative thoughts”, think in the other direction, “I want to become positive and promote positive thinking and generate positivity around me.” There is a difference between these two thought processes. The difference is in the way to reach your goal. When you deploy the latter approach, negativity naturally starts getting vanished from your brain and that place is taken up by positivity. Here you need not make efforts to throw out negativity. Your efforts are getting invested up in generating positivity and not eradicating negativity.
So all of these above mentioned methods will help you work upon your negative thinking and attitude. Whenever you feel a negative thought is about to enter your mind, deploy one of the above mentioned methods and I am sure it will work out well. The most important thing to be understood here is that this can work well only if you believe it will and you yourself will have to make your inner self believe that it is possible; that you can do it and no force can stop you.
So all the best! Hope this helps you and motivates you in the right direction.