How can I improve my relation with my father? I feel that a distance has developed in our relationship.

To improve your relationship with your father, you need to analyze the reasons why the distance has occurred.

Issues of distant relationships between child and one of the parents are becoming a common one today.

The reason that I see is the lack of communication between the two of them. Also, the lifestyle that many children prefer is creating lot of problems. They like to spend more time with friends and are hence unable to devote sufficient quality time to their families and especially their parents. Such change in lifestyle has become an important point of concern in many relations.

If communication gap is the main cause of a distant relationship in your case, then you need to work upon it. Try spending more time with your father. If you find it difficult amongst your daily schedule, spend time with him during your breakfasts. Discuss your daily activities going on in school or college or at workplace. Ask him about his plans and ideas he wishes to implement. Such talks will help both of you to understand each other better and clear up the hesitation that you both could have developed. Similarly, after you return back home, you can spend time with him before going to bed.

Another factor is that in many families, due to certain level of expectations, one or the other member is unable to tolerate certain unfavourable habits of the other person. For example, there could be issues where one comes home late, likes to party a lot, is unable to maintain cleanliness in house, is a bit inconsiderate about organizing his/her things properly and such other habits. When one does this repeatedly, other person starts getting annoyed at every other action of that other member. Such feelings within, develops that distance in the relationships.

If this is your case, then first of all you need to analyze on which side of the coin you are. If you are the one because of whom conflicts arise and the distances have developed, then understand your mistakes and work upon them. It is never too late. If you feel that at certain moments you are being questioned unnecessarily then talk it out right there in a calm and positive manner and with due respect for your father.

And if your father is on other side of coin and you are unable to take up certain habits of his then speak to him on that. He might find it difficult to change. In that case, you need to let go of certain actions and doings of his. And leaving these notions behind, you need to make an attempt to start talking more and more with him and eventually fill up the communication gap.

If you are confused and find it difficult to analyze the factors which are applicable to you, then don’t think about what could be reasons for this distance. I would suggest, just take up every small moment you find and try to keep interacting with him in some or the other way. Try to take up every moment where you can show that you care, moments where you get to interact with him more and more. If at all somewhere and at some moment, your ego or some thoughts try to stop you from taking that one step, then do not bend down to them. This will slowly bridge the gap that could have developed between you two.

I hope this answers your query. Do write back in case of any doubts or confusions.

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