People get discontented when their expectations from life do not get fulfilled. For example, some elderly couple might feel such a discontentment because their children do not want them to stay along with them; because their children are not ready to accept their helplessness towards their health arising from their growing age and even find it difficult to give them some time from their “so-called” busy lives.
A housewife feels discontented when she finds that even after all her efforts in managing the house and doing so much for the husband and children, she is getting nothing more than ignorance and an indifferent behaviour; that makes her sad.
Newspapers and news channels are flooded with news of people who tend to end their lives because of such discontentment. Of course, the ones I mentioned above may seem to be small ones, but this sadness and gloominess can really take a horrifying form; one which can drag people on the path of destruction; and in that process they cause harm to others and even their own selves.
Discontentment is something that one can overcome with the right understanding of things. Look, it’s all in your minds. Imagine the mental state of a person who is discontented. His mind is full of anxiety and gloominess. Such a person is mentally tired and exhausted to the extent that he just wishes that he finds that ray of hope somewhere. He is tired of running around. He is tired of himself. He finds himself alone even when he is in a crowd. Imagine someone lost in a maze and is unable to find the way out and there is no help from any direction. Such is the mental state of a person who is dissatisfied with life. In such a scenario, even if there is any way out, then he is not able to think about it because his mind has given up.
All I am pointing out is on the very fact that our discontentment comes from within our own self. Yes, we might feel that we are facing harsh times from the people around and that is the reason for our discontentment, but at the end, it is our attitude of dealing with their behaviour and that attitude needs a revision, a second thought. Once that is in place, things will change and we will start seeing things from a different perspective and the way will start getting clear. This attitude which needs revision is driven by the below mentioned factors:
Self help is the best help and that is only possible if we make our self so determined that we need not depend on others for our basic needs. That needs confidence on our own self; the will to sustain on our own; that nothing can stop us from earning our basic living or achieving what we want to; or from staying happy. When we lack such confidence, then we start getting affected by petty issues around us. Of course, having confidence does not mean we do not at all need our closed ones and others’ support. If it’s there then good, but their absence or their indifference should not be an emotional bottleneck. Fill up your mind with so much self confidence and determination (not over-confidence) that you stay content and positive in every moment. Keep telling yourself that nothing in this world can stop you and that you can achieve something for your own self with your own efforts.
From time to time, this word called expectations has come up in every other article on my blog and I’d like to repeat it here too. It is our false expectations or rather undue expectations from people around that bring sadness and anxiety in our life. I understand that basic expectations always remain to certain extent. But the idea is to keep it to a particular level with the right understanding; that even after considerable efforts what you expect is not happening, then keep an attitude of accepting that what you get with a positive mind frame for others and even your own self.
Of course, it goes without saying, that only when you yourself want to see yourself relaxed and contented, only then you would take steps to stay that way. Your inner peace must stay intact as far as possible and that single thought is the key or the motivation for you to behave accordingly with the right attitude in the different scenarios of life.
So stay calm, reduce your expectations (over-expectations), and stay confident in any and every walk of life.
Back up these 3 resolutions with the qualities of compassion and best wishes for all; to help the ones who are in need including those from whom you have been facing difficult times.
That will take you towards the path of becoming a complete person; an ideal personality; that will help you stay aloof from any kind of discontentment.
Hi, further to your article on building trust, I wanted to know if it is really practical that somebody who has broken someone’s trust will admit it and are the relations strong now-a-days that somebody actually does it. I don’t want the one who has broken my trust to say sorry or admit his/her mistake. I want my relations with him/her to be so trustworthy that the person can freely tell me about the fact and make me understand the situation.
Hi NRJ, actually my friend is going through her tough times. Her best friend is not in good contact with her since 5-6 months or more. Her best friend is currently working in Bangalore. Her friend comes to Mumbai to meet other friends and doesn’t tell her about the plans. So she’s quite upset about it. She shared her prob with me. I don’t know her friend that well. Should I contact her and make her realize what my friend is going through?