How To Deal With Your Anger?

How to deal with your anger?Every day we come across situations where we tend to lose our temper on someone, where we get angry on some or the other action or point made by someone else. We very well know the feeling that we go through post that anger or such a situation. It makes us restless and uneasy. We do not feel like talking to anyone. Even if someone approaches us, we are not ready to take it positively. Our anger has by then overcome us. Below are a few ways in which one can overcome his/her anger.

  • Give some time to yourself alone

Once you have crossed your limits and thrown your wrath on someone, give some time to yourself. Cool down and sit aside. Think about the entire situation in a positive manner somewhat on these lines. It is not about whether you were right or you were wrong. The main point that came to the centre is that you lost your temper and probably you have created a negative impression in the mind of the opposite person. Look, you need to explain yourself that there was no need to get angry. Anger will only worsen the situation. There is always a solution to every problem and the solution can be reached by talking and explaining your part to the opposite person in a cool and calm way. This will help you put down your ego and talk to the opposite person in more friendly and better way.

  • Look kindly upon others

This is a very effective way to control your anger. If you feel that the opposite person is not willing to understand you or listen to you, drop the issue right there. Look upon to them kindly and in a humble manner. Now, it is very important that you do this with a positive attitude. It should not happen that OK, you have left it completely and you allow the opposite person to just go and do whatever he/she want to. The suggestion that I making in this point emphasizes that in case the opposite person realises his mistake, then you should be ready to help him out of that situation without letting your ego overcome you with the thought that “Why should I help him today ?” Such an attitude will help you not only control your anger but even help you develop a generous and a caring nature.

  • Understand the other person’s point of view

It is very important that before you lose temper, you give a thought to other persons’ point of view. You never know, may be the point that he is making might be beneficial for you and could be more feasible at that situation. By giving importance to their thoughts and opinions, you are portraying a broader mindset of your own self. Your positive approach will inspire that other person to understand your thoughts too and he would give due importance and consideration to your suggestions.

  • Lessen your expectations towards other people

It is one of the major reasons due to which most of us tend to get angry on others. We have built some or the other expectations from every person around us. When that expectation doesn’t get fulfilled, we feel offended and retaliate in form of anger. So, whose fault is it then? When I say do not expect anything from others, one need to be careful while framing this thought in the mind. It is a very delicate thought which if taken in a negative sense can ruin your attitude in many ways. What I mean is that you need to develop a neutral attitude towards things. If someone helps you in your tasks, then it’s good. You need to show your gratitude towards that person. But tomorrow if the same person does not take a step forward to help you, then that does not mean you develop that bitterness in yourself. It’s OK. You must take it positively and have the same caring attitude towards that person. You really do not know why the other person did not offer you a helping hand. And even if it was done purposely, then just let it go. Why should you let those negative feelings overcome you? you should still wish him the best for his work.

  • Meditation

Meditation is an important exercise to control your anger. It will help you come closer to your inner self who is a full of peace, love and happiness. When you feel that peace from within, you automatically tend to follow the above mentioned points and that happens on its own; you need not even try it or practise it. You will stop yourself from falling in situations which could hurt others, or which could make you angry. You will not only think of yourself but even give consideration to others’ feelings.


All the above points that I have discussed, need sufficient practise and dedication and a will to control your anger before it controls you. Look, life is short, and anger, hatred and such other feelings should have no place in this life. We should constantly make an effort to replace these feelings with love, peace, kindness and positivity which are the real treasure of our soul.

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About the Author asknrj

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Aanyaa says August 26, 2012

Thank you so much for all these tips. I tried implementing them recently and to my surprise it worked for me !

    asknrj says August 26, 2012

    Good to hear that. Do get back in case you have any better suggestions or even if you want to add up to the existing ones. It will help all of us learn and grow together.

      Ivan says October 11, 2012

      I might buy it if it was expanded a bit. The reason I say this is that my job involves failed marriages, and there are certain patterns and behaviors I see over and over and over. I need to know the why behind various stimuli and responses. One of the reasons I come to this site is because I’m looking for answers about the behavior I see. Your post about BPD was very enlightening, for example. What I want to know is why are some people unable to stand up to PA folks, and what it would take for them to deal with such people so that their lives aren’t so miserable. I see people spending decades with people who make them miserable (in more ways than just PA behavior), and I keep thinking life is too short for that crap. If your book focuses on recognizing these people and their behavior and strategies for dealing with them–and by dealing with I mean neutralizing them–or avoiding them, I would want to read it. Here is what I have noticed: a lot of those on the receiving end of unjustified anger (not just here, in the cases at work, too) react by giving in. And they seem to think that bending backwards for that person will make them magically become nicer. That’s what I don’t get: why do people think this? It never works (or maybe it does, I only see the failed marriages after all). I didn’t realize PA behavior was a woman’s thing, because the first time I learned of it a man was being diagnosed with it. I simply classified it as being a jerk. If this truly is disproportionately a woman’s defect, then you definitely have something there. I think I’m a little wary about a book from that perspective (as opposed to a strategy perspective), because it seems that these days, spelling out a given defect is used as an excuse for bad behavior as in, “Oh, sorry, I’m PA! Can’t help myself,” and then it’s like the latest victim-fad rather than a jumping off point for self-reform. I’m not sure how you can avoid that side effect, though. –Tyrian Purple

        asknrj says October 11, 2012

        Thanks for your suggestions. I would like to throw some light on the point that you made about people who are on the receiving end of unjustified anger. Yes, many times people do give in. You say that they feel that it would make them feel nice about them. That is OK! But in such a situation I would suggest that one must give in with the understanding that reacting could make things worse. But then, I do not say that just let it go completely. A positive outcome must always be sought for. It is necessary to understand the opposite person’s problem. The roots of that unjustified anger lies somewhere in some action of the past. Hence, in present, what is needed is to bring to the notice of that person that why he/she is wrong. I would say that a positive outcome is always possible. In some cases, the path is a tricky one and somewhere it’s easy.

    Binta says October 12, 2012

    All things considered, this is a first class post.

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