We all understand that today’s world has become very competitive. Getting higher grades and that too from a good college or university, to find a promising job and then step by step promotions and all those related chores are extremely stressful and tiring. Even we as adults find these tasks difficult and painful. Then imagine what about the young and budding teenagers and school-going students. They have in no way been able to escape this competition of the world.
But we understand that all children are different and possess different skills. Not all can top their academics. There will be many who closely manage to pass out or perform poorly. In such cases, it is very much necessary for parents to realize that their role has begun. Children are too young to actually cope up the stress and handle such failures smartly. Hence, parents need to step into their shoes to help their child deal with failures in academics or exams.
Here we shall understand how parents and their children should together deal with such a scenario.
DON’Ts for Parents
Parents need to realize that their child has failed and nothing can be changed about that. Of course, parents and children can together work on the forward path, but the current ranks cannot be changed. So parents need to understand that there is no point in shouting or getting angry at your child. What is needed is a smarter approach which will help your child revive from this failure.
This is one of the most common mistakes which parents make; of comparing their child with other children. Parents must understand that every individual is different and everyone has different potential. One could be good at one thing and other at some other thing. Comparing your child with his fellow students will only aggravate your child’s condition. He might slowly fall into depression. He might start developing hatred towards you. He might start becoming ignorant and careless towards his own shortcomings because there was no one to help him and support him when he needed one.
DOs for Parents
What your child needs at such a discouraging moment is your care and love. I do not say that tell your child that things will be fine and cheer up and relax. We need to alert the child and not make him ignorant about his failures. So reach out to him with your love and care. Let him know that you both can together work upon his shortcomings and there will be many more opportunities in life. Make him feel comfortable with the touch of your care and affection.
Children are gentle and sensitive. They are usually not mature enough to cope up with such failures. In many cases, there is a fear of them falling into a state of depression. This could happen if parents are over-expecting and child fears the reactions that they will have to face from his parents’ side. Hence, it is very much essential to deal smartly with your child in this situation. As I mentioned in the first point, do not get angry upon him as he needs your love and care and not wrath.
Speak to your child calmly and with love. Instead of getting annoyed, teach him the art of learning from own mistakes. Generate positivity within him. Assure him that you are there for him and that you will help him in his studies and daily homework. Tell him that he need not worry. Explain him that one must never give up and to keep trying.
There may be certain specific points where your child must be getting stuck in his studies. May be for some reasons he is not developing interest in that subject or he might be facing some difficulties in the entire learning process. So speak to him with a view of understanding his difficulties. Understand what is lacking and where. Once that is identified, start focusing upon that area. Your child needs your personal attention at this point. May be a particular learning or reciting strategy could prove useful to him or a particular style of teaching would do wonders for him.
Once you start working upon the root cause of the failure, start monitoring your child’s progress. Give him enough time to prepare for even the easiest stuff. Analyse his growth pattern. Congratulate him on his small successes in daily tests. That will motivate him to do better and make him more confident of passing the next time.
Like this, parents will not only help their child revive from such failures in examinations at schools or colleges but also prepare them to face any difficult situations at different stages in their life. Of course, one should not wait for their child to fail in the examinations (Wink!) to teach them basic values. In fact, parents should teach their child right from the start that they should not get depressed due to any kind of failures in life. They should teach them to learn from failures and not resort to them.
Parents must not prepare their children for the competition of life, rather they must teach their children the basic values which will help them stand up to their morals even in the hardest times of their life.