It was just about a week back when I was going through the thoughts and ideas of people around the world, over a common platform on the web, when I came across this very beautiful text written down by one of my good acquaintances. This piece of content was in fact, not just a small, beautiful and a heart-touching conversation but also a true message of life, worth to be endured by each and every one of us.
This was a conversation between a mother Arti and her beloved daughter Nandita. Nandita, a 6 yr old child, likes a boy in her school. Let’s call him Ahmed. So one day after school, Nandita and Arti were having a routine talk wherein Nandita was narrating her school stories and chores. Arti was merely observing her sweet little kid as she was narrating everything with her graceful facial expressions and gestures. Amidst her talks, this is what occurred:
“Nandita, I love you,” said Arti. Nandita smiled cheerfully and continued with her talks. After about a minute, Arti once again: “Nandita, I love you!” Nandita smiled back in the same manner and went on. Few seconds post, Arti yet again with helplessness and a desire to stay with Nandita always: “Nandita, I love you! What should I do?” Nandita replied, “Mommy, don’t do anything! Just keep loving me like I love Ahmed.”Arti was stumped right away.
She was amazed at a 6 year old’s thoughts about love; that love is simply about loving and nothing else. What a beautiful thought it is, isn’t it? Many a time our kids unknowingly teach us some very beautiful morals of life, which if embraced, not only can give our lives a new course but also make it less complicated and thus simple.
In this material world, majority of the people might be of the opinion that love is painful. Then why is this thought contrary to what Nandita shared with us all? It is because when we say love is painful, we attach ourselves with the one we love or wish to be with. We seem to possess our love, and when in this journey of possessing we fail, we get disappointed and that eventually leads us to sadness and gloom. The feeling which we once felt was divine, now feels painful and pricking straight into our hearts.
On the other hand, Nandita’s love seems more pure, divine, compassionate and heart-touching. It truly explains us an old saying that love is about giving and not asking for anything in return. It is about giving love. It is about loving your love. It is about cherishing that beautiful feeling of love within our hearts and that in turn is accompanied with compassion for the other as well as our own self. Such love never gives pain but only helps heal it. Such love is innocent and selfless. Such love rises above material expectations and physical pleasures. They are truly fortunate, within who dwells such love.
That said, it is important to realise where has our theory of love gone wrong against Nandita’s version. In reality, what we call love is actually nothing more than a mere attachment; attachment to the one we love. This attachment does not come alone but brings along its friend called expectation that seizes our wisdom to realise true love, for true love isn’t a barter system where you expect something in return. And where there is expectation, there lies disappointment, anger, jealousy, gloom and sadness upon non-fulfillment of those expectations.
We thus find such a love painful because we develop a sense of possession towards the one we love without considering the fact that they too are independent individuals and if we love them that do not necessarily mean the vice-versa.
So it’s all in our minds in short. Just a small and simple alteration in our thought process makes our life less complex. In fact the one who holds true love for someone, instead of experiencing pain, must be thankful to the almighty for they are truly fortunate to hold so much love for someone; to be able to simply live these moments of loving someone irrespective of the person’s physical presence or absence.
This is a value of life that Nandita has taught each one of us. What we need is, to realise it and spread it to each and every individual related or unrelated to us. Thus, if instead of holding this love for one person, we extend it to every individual around us, if we simply start treating each individual as equal as our own self, and detach ourselves from the sense of possessing them, then the way we deal with issues in life will definitely change, the way we deal with problems in life will change, our relations with family and friends can then get only more and more sweeter and above all what will change is our idea of our own self. We shall eventually start to love our self and respect our being; we shall expect less from our self and believe in simply giving in our best for every task without expecting the results for the same; we shall free our own soul from the clutches of depression, anger, jealousy and all sorts of negative elements present, thus making life much simpler and peaceful for others as well as our own selves.