I have a sibling who is much more intelligent and smart than I am. Somewhere I feel I’m getting overshadowed by his achievements and success. What should be my ideology so that I can deal with such a feeling in a positive manner?

The problem which you have described has become a common one nowadays wherein one child feels that he/she is getting overshadowed by the other child’s achievements and success. With arousal of such feelings and flowing away in this current, bitterness and hatred starts taking place within the minds of individuals which eventually results into conflicts and quarrels finally leading to break-ups and separations within the families.

To understand the correct ideology that one must adapt to deal with such emotions, it is essential that one realises the root cause of such emotions. The problem lies in our common thinking of comparing ourselves with other people around. We have somewhere developed a habit within ourselves that we measure our success level with that of others. We start defining success relative to that of others rather than taking into consideration our own thoughts, strengths and weakness.

As a result, feelings of jealousy and envy start making house in our brain which eventually over a period of time develops bitterness and hatred inside us. Thus to solve your problem, all you need to do is realise this root cause within your own self and start making an attempt to walk on the right path.

The right path is of course the opposite one. Start looking upon everyone around with kindness and wish the best to everyone. When you wish the best to everyone around, that does not mean you are underestimating yourself or you are inferior to them. The idea is to develop an attitude of wishing the best for everyone around along with focusing on your own strengths and weaknesses and working upon them without comparing yourself with others.

Suppose you fall into a situation where you feel that a feeling of jealousy or getting overshadowed is arousing, then immediately realise it and push yourself into a positive contemplation. You can think upon the following lines, “I am an independent person and every individual is different. Everyone has certain strengths and weaknesses and so do I. Every person should perform well in their life. All are my friends and relatives and I shall not compare myself with anyone and feel jealous in any way. I want to work upon my own personality and development of positive qualities. I want to look forward to learning something or the other from everyone rather than feeling jealous. I wish all the best to everyone!”

Such a conscious and constant contemplation over a period of time will help you change the track from the negative to the positive one. You yourself will feel the change within you. You will start appreciating the attributes and achievements of your sibling rather than feeling overshadowed and will gradually start developing an attitude to learn from him/her.

With that you will notice that your definition of success has changed. Now, this definition is not dependent or measured according to others’ achievements rather it is governed by your own positive thinking and ideology and is more about moving ahead with everyone around and not just alone.

I hope I have been able to answer your query in totality.

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My brother who is 2 years younger to me has decided to enter a new venture and we were having a discussion about that. Soon the discussion turned into a fierce argument due to conflicts in our thinking with regards to the scope of this new idea. I do not want him to get into difficult situations in future. Also our relation is more important than this idea. What should be my take on this?


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